PTSD Therapy

I am continuing my PTSD therapy by listening to the audio recording that I make during my sessions. Previously, I have just given a detailed account of the rape to the best of my ability. I then have to listen to the tape every day or every other day in an environment where I can focus and feel as though I am reliving the experience. I have to record my levels of anxiety before and after and some other levels of emotion that I am feeling. This time at therapy, I made a recording in which I only spoke about my feelings–what was happening inside of me rather than what was happening to me. Making this tape was more difficult than the previous tapes. I realized that I was not able to focus as much on this tape. In the first story, I tell my feelings as I see them now. In the second, I focus on the fear that I felt during the rape. I had trouble identifying with the fear that I felt. For example, I start out with “I am confused,” when that really means, “I am fearful because I think I know what is going to happen and I am afraid that it will.” Anyway, I will keep track here of my numbers and whatever it is that I feel like writing about after listening.