Letter 06.06

Daisy,

Sitting down to write this, I had a ton of things in my mind to tell you to explain just how much I love you, how much of a role you’ve played in shaping my character and person, and how much I’m going to miss you, but when I sat down to type them out, I realized that it is impossible to describe these things in words. I don’t know an adjective strong enough to tell you just how great you are, a measurement large enough to tell you just how far I’d go for you, or an album with a strong enough binding to hold in all the memories, good and bad, that we’ve cried, laughed, and fought through.

But now thinking about it, a binding a little worn around the edges is what we have. A bit over used and faded, even fraying in some spots, but it’s home to us. Just little things that we take for granted like my nightly goodnight speech. Sure I say it every night and we get used to just reciting it, but for the little notice it gets when I do it, I don’t know how I’m going to sleep at night without going into your room and making a dumb little joke and tucking you in goodnight. It just won’t the same anymore with out our little Daisy Mae. The other day at dinner I was wondering to myself if I’m going to have to start trimming my leg hair, because without you taking the hair off for me I don’t know what’s going to happen to my legs. I just can’t imagine living without these little things that I’ve come to expect you to do and that we kind of brush off. It hits me that you really aren’t going to be here when some of these things happen, but I just can’t imagine what it’s going to be like when they aren’t there anymore. Coming home tonight and pulling in the garage I thought to myself that I’m not going to have to fight with Daisy anymore over who’s taking the car or which one we’re taking. I’m not even sure I like that. That’s part of what I like so much about us, Daisy. We can fight and argue and scream at each other but give it a couple minutes and we’re right back on track, Daisy and Darcy.

What I find most amazing though, is that you’ve had boyfriends come and go (and in one case come again) and I’ve had girlfriends and all kinds of different friends, but you’ve stuck right by me through think and thin. You’ve been there through them all. As I’m sure you’re aware, you aren’t much of a talker, but when it came to me, you always set me straight and gave me your opinion and put me in my place if I needed it. I think that really shows a lot and it means a lot to me. Quiet old Daisy just isn’t afraid to tell her little brother what she thinks, and I think that really shows how much you care about me. If I look dumb, you’ll be the first to tell me, and it’s not because you want to make me feel bad. It’s because you don’t want me to go out in public looking like an idiot and being laughed at (most of the time I went anyway). That’s what I love though, you’re there for me whenever I need help, and that’s what a best friend is, and that’s what you are.

Since I was in 7th grade you have been my best friend in the whole wide world. That’s when I started to grow up and realize that having a big sister wasn’t such a bad thing. You went through everything before me and were looking at it from the other side so I always came to you first for advice. So from 7th grade on Daisy Mae Buchanan has been my best friend in the whole world whom I tell everything to. You might even understand me better than I understand myself.

A lot of times people know you as Daisy, Darcy’s sister, but once people get to know you, they realize how truly amazing you are. Daisy, I feel like I know you inside and out, but sometimes you surprise even me. I never know what I’m going to get with you. Sometimes you make me laugh, sometimes you make me frustrated, and sometimes you just make me wonder where you came from. But I can’t imagine life without the look, I can’t imagine not getting my eardrums blown out by you yelling my name from two feet away for no reason whatsoever. I mean sometimes you do it and don’t even look up from what you’re doing, those ones are my favorite. Just those little things that I love about you and that make you Daisy Mae just aren’t going to be there for me anymore. I laid down on my cold pillow the other day and it made me think of all the times you would come into my room just to sit on my pillow. Those are some of my favorite memories about you that I’ll always have.

To tell you the truth, I feel bad for the people who don’t have a sister or who don’t really get to know his or her sister too well. I feel like I won the lottery with my sister situation, because I got to spend 17 wonderful, remarkable, memory filled years with the best sister that I could dream up. You have helped to make me who I am. A guy who doesn’t mind watching chick flicks or talking about tampons. A guy who isn’t afraid to tell his sister he loves her and tuck her in every night. A guy who realizes that the most important thing is his life is his family. Daisy, I couldn’t ask for a better sister. I know you’ll do great in whatever you try because of your determination and hard work. But I just want you to remember that if you ever need anything or anyone, I’m here for you. A best friend and a brother.

I love you Dais.

Mr. Darcy